Saturday, May 26, 2012

Tall Tales for Father's Day

a stroll in the woods
one day while hiking, i fought off a ferocious bear in the woods
(carved bear by Tom Reid, woods painting by Valerie Simons)

In honour of all the dads who love to tell tall tales to their children, why not celebrate Father's Day with a reminder of their hyperbole and scaremongering?
My own father told bedtime tales so vivid that, even now, I'm unable to drop off to sleep with even a foot protruding from under the duvet or (heaven forbid) hanging over the side of the bed. His descriptive passages involving children with dangling limbs being trimmed by the ferociously dentured crocodiles which dwelt under each bed were punctuated after storytime by him peering round the bedroom door, thrashing his out-stretched arms up and down in the manner of a vicious toothed beast seeking its next meal. This was of course accompanied by guttural roaring noises, presumably similar to those emitted by hunting reptiles in the throes of a blood lust.

He was mortified many decades later, when I told him how scarred I was by this.
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